It's because of Henry

Nearly two weeks in to my new job in London and I'm starting to recognise the same people that get my train every morning. I smile and nod, but it’s mostly received by blank stares or nervous smiles. Clearly I am not as memorable as they are.



Nevertheless, I thought I'd give you a rundown of the characters I have grown accustomed to sharing my platform with.

First a business lady (I presume). At first glance she doesn't appear interesting, standard uniform of bobbed bottle blonde, gold earrings, mac coat, knee length skirt....and trainers?!? Not nice slim trainers but BIG STONKING DIRTY blue and White trainers. I just don't understand why a woman would ever contemplate wearing such atrocities outside of a gym. Let alone with such a smart outfit. Surely a small pair of black flats, which she can later swap for her smart heels (I assume that's what she is carrying in her bright red rucksack - mores the Pity if she doesn't!!) would look better, be just as comfortable and 100% less awful.

At first I thought that perhaps she had a long walk to the station? But No! She drives! A huge big 4x4 by that. So unless it's a medical condition, I just don't know why she does it!

As I stand at the platform, I let my mind wander, and often find myself making up little stories about the people I stare at on trains.

This is the story of trainer lady. 

Meet Helen. She is smart, sensible and very rich. She has a 19 year old son called James who is a constant disappointment to her. Despite his private education at the best private schools in Cambridge, he flunked his a-levels and is due to start at Oxford Brooks this September to do Creative Writing. Naturally she will just tell all her friends he is doing English Literature at Oxford. They won’t believe her, but will still make all the right congratulatory noises expected of them. Both parties satisfied, no feelings hurt.

Despite her disappointment, she despairs at the thought of her son leaving home. Although she will miss him of course, but worse is the fact that it will just leave her and her husband, Henry. This will be the first time they have been properly alone together for the last 19 years.

There is no love left for her husband. He destroyed the last of it when he left her for a brief period of 4 years to peruse his fling with some tart he met on a business trip to Spain. Esmeralda her name was, terribly tacky. She left his of course, Esmeralda that is. So, Henry came crawling back to her.

Helen let him move back home of course. Oh no, she doesn't love him anymore, but he doesn't know that. The truth of it is, she just didn't want to die alone.

It is because of Henry that she wears the trainers to work every day. He hates them. So she wears them to annoy him. But before she arrives in work every day, she slips on her classy Louboutins. But before she leaves, she is always sure to put her little bit of rebellion back on.